Morgan | 18 | Florida
I want Lil Nas X to do a cover of Santa Baby. He’d make it as suggestive as Eartha Kitt intended
(via joshpeck)
holding rats feels like i’m wielding a weapon in a first person rpg
(via joshpeck)
“Both concrete and glass are mostly made of sand which makes skyscrapers just really tall sandcastles.”— Shower Thoughts That Will Change the Way You Think About Your Entire Life (x)
(via toastbutteregg)
my mom: it’s really not good to eat past sunset
me, whose circadian rhythms have aligned with a nearby raccoon’s: your rules don’t apply here
(via thebootydiaries)
the thing about millennials who don’t want kids is I feel like a lot of them are deeply On Board for their friends’ kids
like I’m among the minority of my friends in definitely for sure wanting kids someday
but each of my parenthood-eschewing friends has claimed a different role in my future offspring’s life and they seem very excited to play it
so we as a generation may have fewer children
but I feel like they’ll be the most supported and loved children imaginable
As a millennial who doesn’t want children, I am seconding this, because it’s not like we don’t want children to exist in the world! We do! Children can be lovely and amazing and they are literally our future! It’s just So Very Difficult to raise children in our nuclear-family society, especially as a millennial, and you want to do the job RIGHT.
Well, if you can’t do the job right yourself, the least you can do is help a friend raise THEIR child right, help take the burden off their shoulders, and give that kid all the love and attention they can stand.
I’d be damned excited to do that, too.
this generation is so excited and ready to be weird uncle/aunt so-and-so
I hope this generation makes communal families a thing again and this time it won’t be treated like a “taboo hippie thing”
Takes a village to raise a kid
(via confirmance)
One thing I’ve learned in life, if you act really self-assured and confident you can pretty much get away with anything.
For example, I’ve watched someone walk on to a plane with no passport. Just walked right on.
Once walked out of a dude’s house with a pair of his pants slung over my shoulder. Did all the usual eye-contact, saying-goodbye movements and noises, just… while stealing his pants. He did not notice.
I told my English teacher that she graded my final paper(I did not turn one in) and that she told me it was well written. She scrambled 3 days trying to find the nonexistent paper, then apologized to me for losing it and gave me a 96%. Confidence is key
my dad’s mate just walked out of a shop with a canoe and didn’t get questioned
Humans are like bees: if they sense you’re an intruder all hell will break loose, but if you get inside the hive they just assume you belong there. Be confident.
Bee confident
This is funny but also true, and a huge tip when traveling. Act like you belong, and you won’t be bothered like other tourists might. Especially on public transportation… do your research ahead of time and look like a disinterested commuter and you’ll blend right in.
Fun Fact about Bees: they use pheromones to communicate and the pheromone to signal ALARM is the same chemical that makes bananas smell like bananas so if you eat a banana and then breathe on a beehive you will regret it and this seemed relevant when i started writing it
(via confirmance)
the entire term has been this confusing and chaotic
The staff of The Onion are just growing cobwebs at this point
(via humorrelated)